the rest of the story...

(for the beginning of the story click here)

I found out I was pregnant exactly one year ago today...

My 2ww ended on Monday, July 27. That was when I would get to pee on a stick to see if yet another round was a failure. I was already prepping myself for the disappointment. I was already starting to feel the anger, sadness and resentment that went along with the arrival of "Aunt Flo" each month. I was already trying to figure out a way to come up with the 12 grand to do IVF. In my mind, it was already negative.

So, Monday ends my 2ww and if you know me, you might also know that I am slightly impatient. That impatience led to the purchase of dozens of unnecessary Home Pregnancy Tests. So, impatience at full throttle, I decided I needed to test on Sunday and that's got to be as accurate as waiting one more day. Low and behold...it was negative. I knew it. I was coming to grips with the idea that this cycle was a failure and went to bed.

Woke up Monday morning (when I really was supposed to test) and peed on the stick just knowing that I would see that damn single pink line yet again. Pee, wait three minutes... tick tock, tick tock, those three minutes are the worst. Go back and look. Now, in the past I tried to look at those sticks from every angle hunting for the faintest sign of a double pink line. Even the lightest of lines would indicate pregnancy and I didn't want to miss it. So, here I am in the bathroom, already mad at my imaginary "negative" test and looking at it upside down, right side up, in bright light, daylight, in the dark, while standing on my head (well, practically). And there it was, the faintest, little pink line that I ever did see. I was ready to be mad and then this? I was still mad, I thought it was some dirty little joke, a false positive, the home pregnancy test people conspiring against me so they would stay in business. But it was there. I went outside to tell hubby, but was still mad, still didn't believe it. "well, there's a line" I told him in a smug voice "but it can't be right, this is a dirty trick". But in my mind I knew that ANY line was a sign of pregnancy, I just couldn't let myself be elated yet. I couldn't fall from that high just yet.

I went on with my day and went to work. Called the doc as soon as I had the chance, cautiously explained my nearly invisible line and the receptionist said, “Oh Lisa, you’re PREGNANT!” Without a doubt or any hesitation, she was 100% sure I was pregnant. I really thought I’d get a “well, come in for blood work so we can be sure” or something along the line of “don’t get your hopes up just yet”. But, no, she was positive and scheduled an appointment for me. OMG, I was in the break room at work, wanted to tell the world, couldn’t actually tell anyone, had a smile plastered on my face and…went and threw up. Yes, that was my first reaction BUT I was the happiest girl around for the rest of the day, heck every day since!

I went in for my blood work that day. I got the blood drawn and waited… I had to wait 5 hours until (another perk from my fabulous doctor) I could call her AT HOME for my results. That time couldn’t pass fast enough, I’ve never looked at the clock so much in my life. 6 o’clock rolled around, I called and she confirmed that I was pregnant! Finally, it was confirmed and I could scream and jump up and down like a schoolgirl!!! Here comes baby!

Doc said that my progesterone levels were low and to start taking progesterone (we’ll leave it at that) that night. Let’s just say the method was far from ideal. A week goes by and I go in for more blood work and the doctor says that my progesterone levels are still too low and I have to start on progesterone oil. At the time, I didn’t realize that would be the start of injecting myself with oil, from a huge needle, everyday for the next 12 weeks. I had one bruised booty, let me tell you! The doctor told me that she had never seen a woman with progesterone levels as low as mine carry to full term. Luckily, she didn’t tell me that until my 7 month follow up appointment. So, our baby girl truly is a miracle!

It took me a long time (like months) before I wasn’t worried about the possibility of a miscarriage. I went through almost the entire pregnancy very cautiously optimistic. I loved being pregnant though. Aside from a few weeks of severe nausea, I had a really easy pregnancy. I chalk up the easy pregnancy to the hell we had to go through to actually get pregnant.

So, that’s our story. I know that there are women out there that have a much more difficult time getting or staying pregnant (and my heart goes out to you) and plenty of women that have a much easier time (don’t take it for granted!) but this is how our journey went. It was a rough road but well worth the wait.

And here is the very first picture of our baby girl at 5 weeks, 5 days (the itty, bitty, teeny, tiny white dot)

baby dreams?

While exploring other mommy blogs, I stumbled upon this one:

http://milasdaydreams.blogspot.com/

Wow! It left my creative side feeling a little jealous and a bit lazy. I surely don't have a baby that sleeps that well, nor the time to create anything like this, but I think it is absolutely adorable! And of course, I often wonder what my little one is dreaming about too!

3 years

Happy Anniversary to us!!! Today we celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary! About this time, three years ago, I was popping open the pineapple champagne and getting my hair done. I loved our wedding, it was a pain in the @ss to plan and pay for but it was worth all the effort. It was so much fun and one giant party! I didn't want it to end! Most importantly, it was the official start of our life together and I am lucky to be married to such a wonderful man and an amazing father!

Who is this child?

I think my child has grown exponentially in the last 48 hours. I feel like last week she was still a blob of a baby, that couldn't move, only cried when she was either tired, hungry or wet, and wasn't interested in anything but her hands and mom.

Now she is rolling over, working out her ab muscles like a maniac (she tries desperately to pull herself up when laying down), "talking" up a storm, tries to put everything in her mouth (even the dog), is entertained by some toys, complains (i'm sure that goes along with talking but she does this weird moan thing that is not quite a cry and not a cute coo), DEMANDS to be fed (she may have gotten some of her moms impatience), laughs at her dad and just all around seems like a different baby. I am loving every second of it!

We often say I can't wait until she...(insert milestone here--talks, crawls, walks, has hair, etc) but I really try to stop myself every time and focus on all the amazing things that are happening every day. They really do go by all too fast...

Sitting. Coming soon to a baby near you.

I was really trying to get a cute naked booty pic of her to use to embarass her when she is older and because it's just plain adorable! She was not having it. She would not stop rolling over! She probably rolled over 10 times during our little mini photo shoot and was clearly amused by her own little plot to ruin my plan (maybe she knew it would come back to haunt her). This shot was the best I could do with my iPhone.
Note to self for baby #2--take cute naked booty pic BEFORE they can roll over.

Hold on

I just realized that my child needs to hold on to something to fall asleep. She grabs on to my fingers at bedtime and grips them like a vice until she falls asleep and I thought it was just because she wanted mommy close. I'm thinking not. She is constantly pulling the pacifier out of her mouth, but I am realizing she does this because it's the only thing she has to hang on to. She is in her swing and was overtired and obviously needed to fall asleep but was having trouble. I gave her the pacifier and you could see the relief sweep over face. She started to relax and drift off to sleep but then those crazy hands and their mind of their own started in on the pacifier. I went over to put it back in and she grabbed onto my fingers like usual. Now, I would have been happy to stand there and let her grip my fingers until she fell asleep, but if I am ever to get a shower in or maybe clean the house, I needed a better plan. I grabbed a little blanket and fed it into those crazy, little hands and low and behold, it worked like a charm! She is sleeping peacefully! I am slightly dreading the day when I have to break her of these perceived "bad" habits (blanket, binky), as I remember the days when I had to rid myself of my blankie and thumbsucking but I need to shower and floors need to be mopped. When she is older, at least I will be able to clean the house while trying to convince her that she doesn't need a blankie. For now, the dog and I will enjoy the peace and quiet.

I would post a picture, but she is in the swing and I don't dare stop it just to take a picture. You'll have to use your imagination today, it'll be good for you.

Rock & Roll

Kaylee was laying on the floor this morning doing some tummy time and she started rocking back and forth. Dad was sitting close by so I yell "dad, dad, look at your baby girl". He was in the middle of doing something and didn't look up right away. Baby was still rocking back and forth and I told her "your daddy is going to miss it!" As soon as I said that, Dad looked up and baby rolled right over!!!

We officially had our first roll over! It was from belly to back and she would only do it once. She made it clear to us that she had worked hard (or entertained us) enough for one day. Now she is peacefully napping from her big workout.