Thursday, August 25, 2011
Words {not} to live by...
Now that I am actually a parent, this blog can be more about my parenting experiences and opinions, rather than just about the pregnancy or the baby. I am looking forward to sharing my opinions, paired with articles, even though many people will not agree with my strong opinions about child rearing. These opinions mostly stem from my 10 years of experience as an early childhood educator and are being reinforced as a raise my own child. My thoughts about raising children and how to treat them have definitely changed over the years. I know that I am no expert and I know I will make mistakes. But, this is my little place in the Internet universe and I can say whatever I want. If you don't like it, stop reading.
I have developed many pet peeves when it comes to the way adults treat and speak to kids, one being the overused "good job" that we all feed to kids. (I hate to admit that I am guilty of it too, but I do make a conscious effort to avoid it as much as possible).
My husband and I joke about setting up a "good job jar", kind of like a swear jar. I told him that he would need to start putting in a dollar every time he said "good job" to our daughter and then I would get to go shopping with that money. He works hard at not using this phrase too, maybe I should get at least one shopping trip out of this before I send him the article below. Hmmm...
I recently went to a playgroup with a friend. It was a parent/child playgroup in a classroom setting. There was play food to pretend with, art projects, blocks to build with, etc. For my little one, that has not really been in a set up like this, was enthralled with the number of toys and soon the number of kids that were there. She bounced from activity to activity, exploring everything she could, leaving a path of destruction behind her. She was quite content playing by herself but did have the occasional run-in with a toy thief (but this post isn't about "sharing", so we will talk about that later). I kept enough distance to allow her to explore freely, but was always close enough to catch her before she found herself in a dangerous or difficult situation. Not really being able to carry on a complete conversation with any of the other parents, I found myself doing a lot of listening (since Kaylee wasn't interested in indulging me in conversation either). The two things I heard over and over and over and over again were "share" and "good job". My most hated words. If there were two phrases I could permanently remove from my vocabulary (and everyone else), I'm pretty sure it would be those two. (More about "sharing" later) But "good job" is probably one of the most overly used phrases that comes out an adults mouth when they are speaking to kids. Yeah, it's easy, it's quick, and we all think it conveys a positive message. I could go on and on about my feelings about how it effects kids but Alfie Kohn says it so much better. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the following article about why you should stop staying "good job" to kids. I especially like the end, where he offers up suggestions on what to say to your child instead of good job. I'll admit that "you did it" has kind of become my go to phrase instead of "good job" but I do try to make an effort to give genuine feedback regularly.
I have developed many pet peeves when it comes to the way adults treat and speak to kids, one being the overused "good job" that we all feed to kids. (I hate to admit that I am guilty of it too, but I do make a conscious effort to avoid it as much as possible).
Unfortunately, we may not have realized that "Good job!"
is just as much an evaluation as "Bad job!"
The most notable feature of a positive judgment
isn’t that it’s positive, but that it’s a judgment.
And people, including kids, don’t like being judged.
is just as much an evaluation as "Bad job!"
The most notable feature of a positive judgment
isn’t that it’s positive, but that it’s a judgment.
And people, including kids, don’t like being judged.
My husband and I joke about setting up a "good job jar", kind of like a swear jar. I told him that he would need to start putting in a dollar every time he said "good job" to our daughter and then I would get to go shopping with that money. He works hard at not using this phrase too, maybe I should get at least one shopping trip out of this before I send him the article below. Hmmm...
I recently went to a playgroup with a friend. It was a parent/child playgroup in a classroom setting. There was play food to pretend with, art projects, blocks to build with, etc. For my little one, that has not really been in a set up like this, was enthralled with the number of toys and soon the number of kids that were there. She bounced from activity to activity, exploring everything she could, leaving a path of destruction behind her. She was quite content playing by herself but did have the occasional run-in with a toy thief (but this post isn't about "sharing", so we will talk about that later). I kept enough distance to allow her to explore freely, but was always close enough to catch her before she found herself in a dangerous or difficult situation. Not really being able to carry on a complete conversation with any of the other parents, I found myself doing a lot of listening (since Kaylee wasn't interested in indulging me in conversation either). The two things I heard over and over and over and over again were "share" and "good job". My most hated words. If there were two phrases I could permanently remove from my vocabulary (and everyone else), I'm pretty sure it would be those two. (More about "sharing" later) But "good job" is probably one of the most overly used phrases that comes out an adults mouth when they are speaking to kids. Yeah, it's easy, it's quick, and we all think it conveys a positive message. I could go on and on about my feelings about how it effects kids but Alfie Kohn says it so much better. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the following article about why you should stop staying "good job" to kids. I especially like the end, where he offers up suggestions on what to say to your child instead of good job. I'll admit that "you did it" has kind of become my go to phrase instead of "good job" but I do try to make an effort to give genuine feedback regularly.
READ ME:
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
bump @ 22 weeks
22 weeks with baby J:
Not a great pic, but the best (and only) one I have of the bump for the time being!
22 weeks with baby K:
Not a great pic, but the best (and only) one I have of the bump for the time being!
22 weeks with baby K:
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Here we go again...
We'll see how long it takes you complainers to realize that I have put up a new blog post!
So, it's been awhile since I've posted. That's okay, I've been busy! We sold our house, moved, got pregnant, quit my job, moved again (all the way across the country this time), opened a jerky store, and are in the market to move again (hopefully for the very last time).
Kaylee is so much fun these days and absolutely exhausting! She does not stop moving! We are getting used to our new surroundings, making some new friends and exploring our new "home". We try to get out as much as we can because I am sure once winter and baby Jack come, we will be home bound for awhile.
At her 15 month well visit Kaylee weighed in at 25 pounds and she was 30.5 inches long. She is hitting all her milestones and is starting to talk. She is a crazy climber and very independent. She goes and sits on the potty (with her clothes and diaper on) when she needs to go, but goes on the floor when she doesn't have her diaper on. She just got a toddler bed and is waiting for her daddy to move the computer, so we can set up her new big girl room. Dogs are her most favorite things in the world, all other animals come in at a close second though. Some days she may eat me out of house and home, other days she will eat nothing but cheese. I've stopped buying her toys because she would rather play with sticks, rocks, clothes or shoes. She is still bald and gets called a boy just about every week (even when dressed all in pink or in skirts).
Pregnancy number 2 is seemingly identical to pregnancy number one. I was just as sick, just as exhausted and just as happy to be pregnant! Right now I am 22 1/2 weeks. We found out 2 weeks ago that we are having a boy. His name will be Jack and his middle name is to be determined. I was really sick in first tri and lost about 9 pounds, which is almost twice as much as I lost when I was pregnant with Kaylee. I am working on gaining it back and I am sure will be back to where I started at my next appointment. I have the WORST sweet tooth this time around. Although, I remember it being pretty bad last time too. The baby is starting to move around a lot. I have an anterior placenta again, so it took awhile for me to feel strong movements. I am due on December 14.
Here's a one quick pic, she still looks the same just a little taller and with more teeth. Someday, she will have hair!
Here's to not waiting another 6 months to post!
So, it's been awhile since I've posted. That's okay, I've been busy! We sold our house, moved, got pregnant, quit my job, moved again (all the way across the country this time), opened a jerky store, and are in the market to move again (hopefully for the very last time).
Kaylee is so much fun these days and absolutely exhausting! She does not stop moving! We are getting used to our new surroundings, making some new friends and exploring our new "home". We try to get out as much as we can because I am sure once winter and baby Jack come, we will be home bound for awhile.
At her 15 month well visit Kaylee weighed in at 25 pounds and she was 30.5 inches long. She is hitting all her milestones and is starting to talk. She is a crazy climber and very independent. She goes and sits on the potty (with her clothes and diaper on) when she needs to go, but goes on the floor when she doesn't have her diaper on. She just got a toddler bed and is waiting for her daddy to move the computer, so we can set up her new big girl room. Dogs are her most favorite things in the world, all other animals come in at a close second though. Some days she may eat me out of house and home, other days she will eat nothing but cheese. I've stopped buying her toys because she would rather play with sticks, rocks, clothes or shoes. She is still bald and gets called a boy just about every week (even when dressed all in pink or in skirts).
Pregnancy number 2 is seemingly identical to pregnancy number one. I was just as sick, just as exhausted and just as happy to be pregnant! Right now I am 22 1/2 weeks. We found out 2 weeks ago that we are having a boy. His name will be Jack and his middle name is to be determined. I was really sick in first tri and lost about 9 pounds, which is almost twice as much as I lost when I was pregnant with Kaylee. I am working on gaining it back and I am sure will be back to where I started at my next appointment. I have the WORST sweet tooth this time around. Although, I remember it being pretty bad last time too. The baby is starting to move around a lot. I have an anterior placenta again, so it took awhile for me to feel strong movements. I am due on December 14.
Here's a one quick pic, she still looks the same just a little taller and with more teeth. Someday, she will have hair!
Here's to not waiting another 6 months to post!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
10 months (a little late)
Someday I will be able to update this blog in a timely manner. Until then, I am trying to at least update it monthly. Here she is 10 1/2 months but better late than never.
Biggest news of the month is that Kaylee is WALKING! She took her first steps on Feb. 5, just shy of 10 months. It seemed to take her forever to learn how to crawl and then she turns around and starts walking! Needless, to say our lives have continued to change. We need to be a lot faster and ensure that our house is totally baby proofed.
At 10 months Kaylee is...
*walking
*saying things like mamama, dadada, bye. I think bye is they only one she uses correctly though.
*opening draws, cabinets and toilet seats
*doesn't go to daycare anymore, stays with her old teacher at her house with one other baby.
*hates baths, diaper changes and getting dressed
*not really eating purees anymore. Table food only
*gets mad if you don't share your food with her
*still fits into 9 month pants, wears some 18 month shirts but is pretty much in 12 month clothes
*giggles, laughs and loves being tickled
*likes to do whatever you tell her not to
*is sleeping through the night. in her crib. (big change for us)
*loves climbing and even pushes objects over to things she wants to climb to act as stairs!
Mama got a new camera, and while I have used it as much as I would like, I plan on improving my photography skills and documenting this little girls life as best I can! Here's a few from a recent trip to Balboa Park:
Biggest news of the month is that Kaylee is WALKING! She took her first steps on Feb. 5, just shy of 10 months. It seemed to take her forever to learn how to crawl and then she turns around and starts walking! Needless, to say our lives have continued to change. We need to be a lot faster and ensure that our house is totally baby proofed.
At 10 months Kaylee is...
*walking
*saying things like mamama, dadada, bye. I think bye is they only one she uses correctly though.
*opening draws, cabinets and toilet seats
*doesn't go to daycare anymore, stays with her old teacher at her house with one other baby.
*hates baths, diaper changes and getting dressed
*not really eating purees anymore. Table food only
*gets mad if you don't share your food with her
*still fits into 9 month pants, wears some 18 month shirts but is pretty much in 12 month clothes
*giggles, laughs and loves being tickled
*likes to do whatever you tell her not to
*is sleeping through the night. in her crib. (big change for us)
*loves climbing and even pushes objects over to things she wants to climb to act as stairs!
Mama got a new camera, and while I have used it as much as I would like, I plan on improving my photography skills and documenting this little girls life as best I can! Here's a few from a recent trip to Balboa Park:
Monday, January 17, 2011
9 months
Big, fat FAIL on the countdown to Christmas pictures, I know. Let me get this 9 month info before she is 10 months. I think I have missed a few months anyways. So...
At 9 months Kaylee...
weighs 21 pounds, 4 ounces
is 28 inches long
has 2 teeth
crawls
pulls up on anything and everything
stands unassisted (for brief moments)
is still basically bald
tries to eat the dog's food any chance she gets
loves to eat
hates getting dressed
Here's what she looks like these days:
my new toy
bath time
ready for my play date
look at all of my hair!
at the Children's Museum
at my friend's ballerina birthday party
At 9 months Kaylee...
weighs 21 pounds, 4 ounces
is 28 inches long
has 2 teeth
crawls
pulls up on anything and everything
stands unassisted (for brief moments)
is still basically bald
tries to eat the dog's food any chance she gets
loves to eat
hates getting dressed
Here's what she looks like these days:
my new toy
bath time
ready for my play date
look at all of my hair!
at the Children's Museum
at my friend's ballerina birthday partySunday, December 19, 2010
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